Douche Off
September 26, 2008Me > AIG
September 25, 2008I’m against the $85,000,000,000 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a “We Deserve It Dividend.”
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billion that equals $425,000.00.
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a “We Deserve It Dividend”. Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam. But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife have $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family? Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved. Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads. Put away money for college - it’ll be there for the future. Save it in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs. Buy a new car - create jobs. Invest in the market - capital drives growth. Pay for medical insurance - health care improves.
Remember, this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
As for AIG - liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General. Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
Here’s my rationale: We deserve it and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion “We Deserve It Dividend” more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC. And remember, this plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
Now put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Download Music from Your Friends’ iTunes Libraries Over the Internet with Mojo
September 22, 2008
Share any song in your iTunes library and download any song from your friends’ iTunes libraries over the internet with freeware application Mojo (for both Windows and Mac). Essentially, Mojo makes sharing music with your friends through iTunes wildly simple, from its simple interface to its brilliant implementation. I just signed up for it (free) last night and have no connections yet, so I haven’t been able to fully use the program, but post your username once you sign up so the sharing can commence. Below is a full-on screenshot tour and detailed walk-through and overview of everything Mojo has to offer.
Getting Started
To get started, you need to download and install Mojo on your computer (it’s fully ready to go on Macs, and currently in beta for Windows). The first time you run Mojo, you’ll be asked to create an account. Do that, then you’ll see the Mojo friends window, which is much like a buddy window on an instant messenger client. Granted, you won’t have any buddies in this window to begin with, but don’t worry, you will.
Next, others need to download and install Mojo as well. They give you their user name, you hit the little plus (+) sign to add them as a buddy, and they’re sent an approval request. They approve you, and voilà—you now have access to every song in their iTunes library. So what now?
Browsing and Downloading Music
To browse your friend’s library, just double-click their entry in the buddy window. Mojo will open a new window which shows every song in their library and their playlists, along with their Movies, TV Shows, Podcasts, and Audiobooks. Double-click any song to play it back, and to download a song (or even video), just click the download arrow next to the song or the big download button at the bottom of the screen.
Mojo will download the song and automatically add it to your iTunes library. Additionally, it will even create a playlist in a folder called Mojo containing all the songs you downloaded from that friend.

You may be thinking: Sure, this is impressive, but what else can it do? Well, for one, Mojo automatically detects whether or not you already have a song in your iTunes library. Any song that you’ve already got displays in Mojo in a light gray color. And if your friend has purchased a song from the iTunes Music store, and it’s dripping with nasty DRM—Mojo highlights those tracks in red.
So What’s the Catch?
If you’ve already checked out the Mojo homepage, you may notice that there is a premium version of the application. Luckily for all of the cheapskates out there like me, you really don’t need to buy the premium version to enjoy most of the best features of Mojo. But let’s say you do want to go Pro. Here’s what you get:
- Unlimited friends
- Playlist subscriptions
As far as I can tell, that’s it. Playlist subscriptions, which allow you to subscribe to a playlist in your friend’s library, automatically downloads music in the playlist as your friend adds to it. Crazy cool, yes, but if you don’t want to shell out for it, it’s really not that must-have.
Right now, as I said, Mojo is available and ready for primetime on the Mac, and is currently in beta for Windows users. The app takes practically zero know-how to set up and get started with, and everything it does is near perfect. I’ve only tested it on my Mac so far, so if you give the beta a try on Windows, let’s hear how it’s working in the comments. For another detailed usage overview, check out the introduction screencast from Mojo.
Download the software here: Mojo
Pure Genius?
September 18, 2008
Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you the Beer Pouch Hoodie.
The sweatshirt has a built in beer-holder so your hands can be free to make baby batter relax.
This fratastic article of clothing can be found in a variety of designs at Brew City.
McCain Economic Meltdown Talking Points
September 16, 2008Focus on appealing to blue collar workers and it won’t even matter that you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about… The dude is not good at making someone else’s words seem like his own - he and Palin will be in some sort of talking point la la land in the debates.
Feel free to counter this with an Obama “hopeandchangeathon”
How to Make a Squirrel Sandwich
September 16, 2008Video of a cooking show host and her son hunting and killing a squirrel. Next, she shows how to make a tasty sandwich.
“I promised him a squirrel sandwich and that is what he’s gonna get after school. You’ve heard of tuna melts or patty melts, well why not squirrel melts.”
Saturday Night Live couldn’t have done better than this.
I’m going to have to take a rain check on this one. Not to mention there’s no way this is kosher.
Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld Part 2: Regular People
September 12, 2008
The next installment of Microsoft’s controversial ad campaign featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates is out. And you know what? It’s pretty good.
It’s crazy that an ad campaign starring one of the least-edgy comedians out there and the world’s foremost philanthropist could ever be controversial. But the first Seinfeld/Gates ad was just that: Microsoft had for months touted an upcoming ad campaign that would strike back at Apple’s Mac vs. PC spots and would help set the record straight about Windows Vista; it delivered 90 surreal seconds of Seinfeld and Gates shopping for discount shoes.
The second installment isn’t much different in tone from the first one, and it’s three times as long. In it, Seinfeld and Gates move in with a stereotypical suburban family so they can experience life in the real world. It’s too long, but it does feature some clever lines, Seinfeld clipping his toe nails, and Gates reading the world’s worst bedtime story – proving again that he has a rare talent for deadpan self-mockery.
Again there’s no mention of Windows. But we’re OK with that. And in a weird way the first ad makes a little more sense now, although we still feel that it pushed absurdity a little too far.
Here’s a rather sane interpretation of the ads and the initial response – overwhelmingly negative – that Microsoft’s Chris Flores posted on the Windows Vista blog:
“Will seeing Bill and Jerry enjoy each other’s company make people run out and buy a new laptop? Or correct misperceptions some non-users might have about Windows Vista? Certainly not…When you set out to create advertising, the thing that keeps you up at night is not ‘Will some people not get it or like it?’ Rather it’s ‘Will anyone pay any attention and notice?’ I think we can safely check that box.”
Giant Ice Penis - Is Climate Change to Blame?
September 11, 2008If there was any doubt about the terrible threat that global warming poses to humanity, then it can now be dismissed - as this shocking photograph proves that climate change is turning icebergs into giant penises.

The cockberg was photographed by Andy Rouse in the Bransfield Strait near Antarctica.
Experts now believe that it is only a matter of time before an armada of penis-shaped chunks begin to break off the Antarctic ice floes, and then roam the oceans wreaking havoc and luring sailors to their doom.
Be careful our there maytees….












Posted by awallens
Posted by awallens
Posted by awallens
