The 11 Manliest Cocktails In The World

June 29, 2009
You wouldn’t be caught dead drinking a cosmo, but all of us will be drinking these at one of our funerals.
irish car bomb cocktail
11. Irish Car Bomb
Why is it manly?: What’s manlier than going mano-a-beero with a pint of the world’s thickest stout mixed with a shot of whiskey? Knowing that if you don’t chug it fast enough, you’ll be downing chunks of curdled Bailey’s cream.
Recipe:
3/4 pint Guinness stout
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey
kentucky tea cocktail
10. Kentucky Tea
Why is it manly:? You can get shot in the face by an Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms federal agent just for making this cocktail.
Recipe:
1 mason jar halfway full of moonshine
Fill the jar with branch water
rusty nail cocktail
9. Rusty Nail
Why is it manly?: I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but there’s something oddly macho about asking your girlfriend if she would like to sip on your Rusty Nail.
Recipe:
¾ oz. scotch
¼ oz. Drambuie
snake bite cocktail
8. Snake Bite
Why is it manly?: Anytime a drink is compared to a snake sinking its fangs into you and depositing venom in your bloodstream, chances are, it’s probably pretty stiff. Basically it’s straight up Yukon Jack, which has been known to make balls hairy. The only reason there’s a dash of lime juice is so you won’t get scurvy.
Recipe:
2 oz Yukon Jack liqueur
1 dash Lime juice
jagerade
7. Jagerade
Why is it manly?: To be honest, I don’t know if this is manly or just gross. Either way, a man can never get enough electrolytes.
Recipe: 8 oz chilled Gatorade energy drink
4 oz Jagermeister
gine and juice cocktail
6. Gin and Juice
Why is it manly?: Snoop Dogg likes to drink this when there are bitches in his living room gettin’ it on until six o’clock in the morning, so that has to be worth something. Gin and juice was also the morning cocktail of soldiers and officers in WWII. That’s right, this is what you drank right before you killed a bunch of Nazis. You can’t say that about Malibu and pineapple.
Recipe:
2 1/2 ounces Gin.
1 oz. orange juice.
Equal parts mind on your money and money on your mind
nuclear waste keith richards
5. Nuclear Waste
Why is it manly?: This is the only thing Keith Richards drinks now. According to the man himself, “”Whiskey wasn’t agreeing with me anymore. The old body couldn’t take it. Brandy is a killer, and wine is best with food, so somehow I settled on this. Plenty of ice. Lovely.” If it’s good enough for Mr. Richards, it’s good enough for me and this list.
Recipe:
2 oz. premium vodka
1 oz. Sunkist or any orange soda Plenty of ice
tequila sunrise cocktail
4. Tequila Sunrise
Why is it manly?:First off, it’s a breakfast cocktail. And secondly, “2 measures tequila” is short for, “as much tequila as your glass will hold.” It may look a little fruity but it’s about as tropical as a back alley in Tijuana.
Recipe:
2 measures Tequila Orange juice
2 dashes Grenadine
original sazarac cocktail
3. The Original Sazerac
What makes it manly?: This cocktail takes the classic New Orleans recipe and adds—what else—a nice, healthy addition of Absinthe. Because if huffing rye whiskey doesn’t make you a man, mixing it with mythical psychadelic liquor that tastes like cough syrup will make sure everyone knows you have a penis.
Recipe:
1 tsp Sugar
1-1/2 oz Rye whiskey
1 Dash Herbsaint, Pernod or Absinthe (to coat the glass)
2 dashes Peychaud bitters
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1 Lemon peel twist
martini cocktail
2. Martini
Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
Recipe:
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
1 Olive
manhattan cocktail
1. Manhattan:
Why is it manly: You may say “it’s got a cherry, nothing with a cherry is manly.” Well, nibble on this: It’s notorious for being the favorite drink of the Italian Mafia, who are notorious for killing people. I’m not saying killing somebody makes you a man, but it’s probably not the best idea to call someone who just threw someone off a bridge a “cherry drinking pussy.”
Recipe:
*3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 1/2 oz Rye whiskey dash Angostura bitters
1 Maraschino cherry

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The Worlds Largest Cocktail

February 11, 2009

The record for history’s largest cocktail belongs to British Lord Admiral Edward Russell. 475px-gibson_edward_russell

In 1694, he threw an officer’s party that employed a garden’s fountain as the punch bowl. The concoction? A mixture that included 250 gallons of brandy, 125 gallons of Malaga wine, 1,400 pounds of sugar, 2,500 lemons, 20 gallons of lime juice, and 5 pounds of nutmeg.

A series of bartenders actually paddled around in a small wooden canoe, filling up guests’ cups. Not only that, but they had to work in 15-minute shifts to avoid being overcome by the fumes and falling overboard.

The party continued nonstop for a full week, pausing only briefly during rainstorms to erect a silk canopy over the punch to keep it from getting watered down. In fact, the festivities end until the fountain had been drunk completely dry.

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Why Did They Have to Wait Until After I Graduated for This?

October 8, 2008

Sometimes I send messages I shouldn’t send. Like the time I told my Sociology professor why drinking was more fun that his take-home exam. Gmail can’t always prevent you from sending messages you might later regret, but this week they launched a new Labs feature called “Mail Goggles” which may help.

When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you’re really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click “send” to verify you’re in the right state of mind?


By default, Mail Goggles is only active late night on the weekend, as that is the time you’re most likely to need it. Once enabled, you can adjust when it’s active in the General settings.


Hopefully Mail Goggles will prevent many of you out there from sending messages you wish you hadn’t. Like that late email explaining why you’re leaving her and why you’re taking your Tupperware full of clothes with you.

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The Three Stages of Intoxication

September 21, 2008

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