12 Celebrities Who Look Like They Take the Biggest Craps

July 13, 2008

I think this one is kind of self-explanatory. But all of the following people have a quality that leads me to believe they take gigantic dumps.

12. John Goodman

He looks like he could crap out a dump truck full of Arby’s beef & cheddars.

11. Rosie O’Donnell

The only thing she loves more than Broadway is her trusty plunger. You know, for her meatloaf-sized bricks of poop.

10. Jeff Garlin

I bet he probably spends most of his day planning for, and recovering from some shit he’s about to take or just took.

9. Shaq

It’d be kind of disappointing if he didn’t take ridiculous dumps.

8. James Gandolfini

Once ordered a hit on his basement toilet.

7. Uncle Phil

Powerful, powerful dumper.

6. John Daly

If crappin’ was a pro sport, he’d be in the Turd Hall of Fame.

5. Al Pacino

Whooooooooaaaaaaahhh!

4. Phylicia Rahad

Cosby’s. Pool. But seriously, I bet she takes strong Nubian power craps.

3. Horatio Sanz

He strikes me as a hearty shitter, who giggles uncontrollably at the sounds he’s making. Then he calls Jimmy Fallon to let him listen.

2. Elton John

No, not because he’s gay. Or because his name is synonymous with ‘Gay Bathroom’. But that doesn’t hurt. I just think he probably belts out logs like he belts out tunes.

1. That Infomercial Guy.

Kaboom is right. Billy Mays looks like he takes loud, violent, epic shits.

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