It’s been a while since the last Lube post, so what better way to return than with this…
Note: The video is about 6 minutes long, but you should watch the whole thing.
You can’t not watch this…
October 16, 2009
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Posted by awallens
11 Sexy Photos Totally Ruined By People in the Background
August 5, 2009There’s some part of human nature that really makes us laugh when attempted sexiness crashes and burns. This photo collection is a celebration of that horrible, yet undeniable, instinct that we all have. These are the 11 best photos where someone (a woman) was trying to be sexy… but someone or something crept into the background of the photo and ruined it. Of course, what makes it better is that they didn’t notice the interloper and posted the photo online anyways… which brings us to today.
- The old man sleeps. Playboy bunny necklace… sexy underwear… curvaceous pose… oh, and grandpa sleeping on the bed while it all goes down.
- The model and the ginger. If you ever wonder why people get so creeped out by ginger kids, this modeling photo says more than words (or Cartman) ever could…
- The floater. A toilet really shouldn’t be incorporated into a sexy photo. An unflushed toilet ESPECIALLY shouldn’t.
- High quality parenting, take one. It’s hard to find her sexy when her kid is passed out, shirtless, in the fetal position, mere feet away.
- High quality parenting, take two. Again, if you have to exile your infant outside so you can take sex photos, maybe it’s time to close those things right on up.
- Biggest boobs in the photo. Do not go to any of the girls.
- Well, he did pay for all the ballet classes. I feel like old Russian men have a patent on the all white tank top-briefs look.
- Bikini shoot on the beach. I think he just wanted to be a part of the photo shoot. After all, his bathing suit is just as revealing as any other one pictured here.
- Under the pier. The kid doesn’t seem to know how he got there… he isn’t doing a very good job of concealing himself against that post… yet you feel like this is still one of the greatest days of his young life.
- Call a babysitter. I just can’t believe this is real.
- And she would’ve gotten away with this, too. If it wasn’t for that meddling TV.
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Posted by awallens
It’s all relative…
July 12, 2009
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Posted by awallens
Anti-Douchebag Collar Clips
July 9, 2009Miller unveils a new product to help keep your urge to look like a douchebag in check.
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Posted by awallens
The Largest Natural Breasts You’ll Ever See
July 6, 2009
Meet Norma Stitz. Norma is special because she holds a world record: the record for the words largest natural breasts.
Norma was awarded the title in 1999 when her breasts clocked in at a staggering 69 inches, and weigh 40 pounds. You can’t cater for that with off the shelf bras, so instead Norma has bras custom made using parachutes (seriously).
Despite not being able to sleep on her back as her breasts crush her airways, and requiring help to walk up starts because she can’t she them, Norma has no interest in obtaining a breast reduction. “When people ask me why I don’t just get a reduction I say ‘Are you crazy?’ I love my boobs and they are winning me a wonderful life…I’ve had offers from TV stations all over the world wanting me to come on and show them off.”
But because this story should end on a positive note, it should come as no surprise that Norma takes full advantage of her breasts and works in the pornography business.
Here’s a clip of Norma on the Jenny Jones show:
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Posted by awallens
VEGAS
July 3, 2009
see also: Making it Rain
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Awkward Boners – Because it happens to the best of us
July 2, 2009I’d like to introduce to you all a new great site I’ve stumbled upon: Awkward Boners. As all men know, boners can happen at the most inopportune times. I’m sure we all have traumatic memories of “it” happening while we were at a swim meet, or in the locker room showers, or even while giving a presentation. It can’t be stressed enough that the goal of Awkward Boners is not to embarrass the individuals in these photos – boners are completely natural, and are nothing to be ashamed of. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re usually pretty hilarious. People are encouraged to laugh at these photographs, to share them with friends, and to think “I’m glad that’s not me.” Enjoy.
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Posted by awallens
You Know It’s Summer When…
July 1, 2009You know it’s summer when the girls start showing their belly buttons…
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Posted by awallens
A Tribute to Men Staring at Boobs
June 30, 2009Men like staring at boobs and butts. That’s just a scientific fact. Everyone has stolen a tantalizing glance at a nice rack or an amazing posterior at least once in their life. Fortunately for the rest of us, some of these epic boob/ass stares have been documented via photograph and published to the internet for all to see, and I’ve taken the liberty of gathering some of the best boob and ass stares into one awesome collection.
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Posted by awallens
The 11 Manliest Cocktails In The World
June 29, 2009You wouldn’t be caught dead drinking a cosmo, but all of us will be drinking these at one of our funerals.
11. Irish Car Bomb
Why is it manly?: What’s manlier than going mano-a-beero with a pint of the world’s thickest stout mixed with a shot of whiskey? Knowing that if you don’t chug it fast enough, you’ll be downing chunks of curdled Bailey’s cream.
Recipe:
3/4 pint Guinness stout
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey
10. Kentucky Tea
Why is it manly:? You can get shot in the face by an Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms federal agent just for making this cocktail.
Recipe:
1 mason jar halfway full of moonshine
Fill the jar with branch water
9. Rusty Nail
Why is it manly?: I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but there’s something oddly macho about asking your girlfriend if she would like to sip on your Rusty Nail.
Recipe:
¾ oz. scotch
¼ oz. Drambuie
8. Snake Bite
Why is it manly?: Anytime a drink is compared to a snake sinking its fangs into you and depositing venom in your bloodstream, chances are, it’s probably pretty stiff. Basically it’s straight up Yukon Jack, which has been known to make balls hairy. The only reason there’s a dash of lime juice is so you won’t get scurvy.
Recipe:
2 oz Yukon Jack liqueur
1 dash Lime juice
7. Jagerade
Why is it manly?: To be honest, I don’t know if this is manly or just gross. Either way, a man can never get enough electrolytes.
Recipe: 8 oz chilled Gatorade energy drink
4 oz Jagermeister
6. Gin and Juice
Why is it manly?: Snoop Dogg likes to drink this when there are bitches in his living room gettin’ it on until six o’clock in the morning, so that has to be worth something. Gin and juice was also the morning cocktail of soldiers and officers in WWII. That’s right, this is what you drank right before you killed a bunch of Nazis. You can’t say that about Malibu and pineapple.
Recipe:
2 1/2 ounces Gin.
1 oz. orange juice.
Equal parts mind on your money and money on your mind
5. Nuclear Waste
Why is it manly?: This is the only thing Keith Richards drinks now. According to the man himself, “”Whiskey wasn’t agreeing with me anymore. The old body couldn’t take it. Brandy is a killer, and wine is best with food, so somehow I settled on this. Plenty of ice. Lovely.” If it’s good enough for Mr. Richards, it’s good enough for me and this list.
Recipe:
2 oz. premium vodka
1 oz. Sunkist or any orange soda Plenty of ice
4. Tequila Sunrise
Why is it manly?:First off, it’s a breakfast cocktail. And secondly, “2 measures tequila” is short for, “as much tequila as your glass will hold.” It may look a little fruity but it’s about as tropical as a back alley in Tijuana.
Recipe:
2 measures Tequila Orange juice
2 dashes Grenadine
3. The Original Sazerac
What makes it manly?: This cocktail takes the classic New Orleans recipe and adds—what else—a nice, healthy addition of Absinthe. Because if huffing rye whiskey doesn’t make you a man, mixing it with mythical psychadelic liquor that tastes like cough syrup will make sure everyone knows you have a penis.
Recipe:
1 tsp Sugar
1-1/2 oz Rye whiskey
1 Dash Herbsaint, Pernod or Absinthe (to coat the glass)
2 dashes Peychaud bitters
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1 Lemon peel twist
2. Martini
Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
Recipe:
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
1 Olive
1. Manhattan:
Why is it manly: You may say “it’s got a cherry, nothing with a cherry is manly.” Well, nibble on this: It’s notorious for being the favorite drink of the Italian Mafia, who are notorious for killing people. I’m not saying killing somebody makes you a man, but it’s probably not the best idea to call someone who just threw someone off a bridge a “cherry drinking pussy.”
Recipe:
*3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 1/2 oz Rye whiskey dash Angostura bitters
1 Maraschino cherry
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Posted by awallens
